Some mommy rambelings

As I step over little plastic army men, various in sundry pieces of a pirate ship and what seems like hundreds of little boy shoes, I find myself, instead of being stressed, loving being a mommy!  Granted my house isn't spotless, I have dozens of 'projects' that haven't been gotten to and there is lots of organization that needs to be done but the people are fed, loved, happy and clean (most of the time).

I've been thinking more lately of what kind of mother I want to be and what my job is as a mom.  As in all things in life I think mothering is about balance.  I don't want to be that mother who takes her kid everywhere and they are attached to her always because we can't bare to be separated but I also don't want to be that mother who's child is running wild because she has no idea where he is or how to control him.  I want to be a mother who is involved and keyed in to the needs (physically, emotionally and spiritually) of her children.  I believe every child is different and needs to be treated as such.  I want wisdom to know when to loosen or pull back on the reigns; to know when to be quiet and listen or when to pull something out of him; when to push him to try harder or just move on.  I pray for this wisdom daily (literally...).

I want obedient children and the only way to obtain that, I am convinced, is consistent and frequent discipline.  THAT IS HARD!  My son needs to be corrected EVERY TIME he disobeys mommy and that is a lot.  I don't buy into that thinking that they are so young, they don't understand; my son does.  Even if he doesn't fully understand the wicked and selfish motives of yelling 'NO!' at me when I tell him to do something, he WILL understand that that behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated in our household.  I have to be consistent.  He needs to know that there are consequences to his actions and when I tell him that if he throws his toy one more time I'll take it away, when he throws it one more time it needs to go away.  I don't believe in idol threats or counting to 5... you're either going to obey or you're not.  But that also puts weight on me not to threaten things I don't intend to follow through with or expect him to understand things above his comprehension level.  I can't threaten to turn the car around and go home when we have an appointment we have to be at.  My consistency is my responsibility and will earn my child's respect.  When he knows what is expected of him, it will be easier for him to obey.

I want to be the kind of mother who's boys love and respect her.  I don't want to be their best friend right now because that's not what they need; they need a mommy.  I want my boys to grow up to be independent yet feel a responsibility to take care of their mom.  It is so cute that Connor comes and offers his hand to me when he wants me to get up (he's helping me up).  It's a small gesture but so sweet and indicative of a mindset.  They are too young right now to know what they are doing but they see how their daddy treats me and want to do the same.  Connor tells me he loves me all the time and gives me kisses many times a day.  I want it to say this way!  Not necessarily him kissing me all day when he's 17 years old but I mean the affectionate mindset and tender respect.  I haven't messed that up yet and I don't want to!  I want to be worthy of their respect, admiration and love.

On the other hand, I don't want to just be the happy, kissy mommy who never instills discipline and obedience in her children either.  I don't want to be so focused on them 'liking' me and being fun that I neglect my job as a mother.

What is my job as a mother you might ask.  I think my job as a mother of two boys is to raise them to:

• know what the Bible says
• see a genuine faith and love for the Lord in my life
• understand the importance of obedience and personal discipline
• respect women and treat them honorably
• be polite, well mannered and cleanly
• realize the bond of family and value of loyalty
• be a man of integrity who does what's right no matter what he wants or how he feels
• desire and know how to be a good husband to their wife someday

That is not a small list!  I want to teach these things with gentleness, sweetness and if necessary, firmness.  You know the saying iron fist in a velvet glove... :)  But most of all I want to teach these things by example.  I want them to see Christ in me everyday.  I want them to see me be obedient to my husband and be disciplined in my personal tasks.  I want to model to them how a woman should be treated and be polite and courteous to all people.  They need to see me value family and be loyal to those around me.  They need to know that mommy has integrity and when she says she's going to do something, she does it.  They need to see me being a good wife to my wonderful husband to know what to look for in a spouse.  This is a big job placed on my shoulders!

I need to remind myself regularly what it is that I am trying to do (in raising my boys).  I get so caught up in the day to day cleaning, cooking and daily routine that I forget what my purpose is and should be.  I am so blessed and want to do my best to be faithful with the tasks that that Lord has given me to do.

Just thought I'd share that to keep me accountable. :)

Have a wonderful week!