Self-Esteem...

I'm going to get on a soap box for a second... so just ignore my rant if you don't want to hear it.

I really hate the concept of self esteem.

Self esteem, as defined by webster, is: a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.

Is it just me or does that seem like a horribly unbiblical concept!

 

Are we not supposed to be finding our confidence and satisfaction in CHRIST?  

Are we not suppose to think less about ourselves and more about Christ and others?

 

Philippians 2 says: "³ Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. ⁴ Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ⁵ Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, ⁶ who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, ⁷ but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. ⁸ And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

 Also, from a logical point of view, why would I want my children to find their security and confidence in something/someone who is imperfect and WILL without a doubt, one day fail them?!  If you are relying on yourself for a foundation you are bound to be disappointed.  There will be something, someday that you can not do for yourself or can not achieve; I would be setting my children up for failure in teaching them to rely solely on themselves for a sense of confidence.  

I want my children to find their confidence and satisfaction in Christ, who is perfect and will never fail them.  He is consistent, all powerful and has their best interest in mind at all times, which is HIS glory.  The sooner that they learn that life is NOT all about them and their personal search for self satisfaction, the happier they are going to be.

To paraphrase what the little kids song based on Matt 7 says, the wise man built his house upon the rock and the house stood firm but the foolish man built his house upon the sand and the house on the sand went splat!  My children need to build their little personal houses on the rock that will stand firm and consistent, not their own self-esteem, which has the large possibility of going 'splat'...  

So when I hear a local lady say that her teenage daughter is suffering from a lack of self-esteem I want to scream 'You've got it all wrong!  She doesn't need to be esteeming herself more she needs to be finding her identity in CHRIST and seeing herself how God sees her!'

When you teach your children that an all knowing God loves them no matter what they can or can not do and He made them exactly how he wanted them to be, a lack of talent in a certain area might be disappointing but is ok because He has something planned for their lives.  When they understand that no matter how they fail, disappoint, blow it, fall short or sin God still loves them as much as He did before their human nature came shining through rearranging their expectations, it is easier to repent, rebound and redirect to a new course which God has given.  When you can rely on the sovereign, all knowing knowledge of a perfect God who wants you to succeed in glorifying Himself it is easier to let go of the way that YOU think things should go and allow Him to move in your life.

Those are the things that will give you 'confidence' and 'satisfaction'... not self-esteem.